depression

What to Do When Feeling Down

Are you feeling uninspired today? Does it seem that you are out of the flow? Are you feeling a bit down? I can relate. I’ve been living with a socked in psychological storm for the past few days. When I’m caught up in the storm, I begin to wonder if the sun will ever appear again. I find myself taking everything more seriously and personally. My inspiration dwindles. My resourcefulness appears unreachable. I forget the blue sky of my wellbeing. 

Can you relate? Do you notice that your focus narrows and negativity increases during those times? I find that I tend to be hyper-analytical, sensitive, and judgmental when I buy into the storm. How is it for you?

During those times, I am anywhere but the present moment. The storm has nothing whatsoever to do with this moment. In fact, when I bring myself back to right here, right now, I can’t find a thing wrong. There is no problem here.

The problem arises when I start spinning stories in my head. I jump aboard thoughts about the past and future. I tell myself that my past mistakes will surely be relived again and again. I tell myself that I’m not prepared for the future and never will be. I live inside my imagination about past and future. Neither is true but I experience it as if it were.

What are we to do when we are caught in a psychological storm? Amit Ray, an Indian author, says, “If you want to conquer the anxiety of life, live in the moment, live in the breath.” When I sit still and bring my attention back to my breath, I catch glimpses of what Thich Nhat Hanh sees: “The present moment is filled with joy and happiness. If you are attentive, you will see it.” 

My friend and colleague, Debbie Trent, who is a psychotherapist, recommends, “Get out and do something you love and know it will change when its ready.” I think she was pointing in the same direction as Thich Nhat Hanh. There is beauty and goodness everywhere but when we are caught in the storm, our negativity bias often kicks in which can veil the positive.

You and I could bring ourselves back to the present moment rather than living in the feeling of our imagined past and future. We could remind ourselves that this storm cloud will move along in time. We could stop fighting it as it is not a problem in the first place. We could relax a bit knowing that the blue sky of our wellbeing remains despite the storm.

No techniques, effort, or struggle are needed. Analysis and judgment are unnecessary. We don’t have to take the storm clouds personally or seriously. They’ve been here before. They will be here again. They will pass. They tell us nothing about who we truly are.

If we could pull out a bit and widen our perspective, we would see that the storm clouds always reside in the vastness of the sky. Our psychological storm clouds are the same. They reside in the vastness of our innate wellbeing. This is true whether or not we feel it in the moment. 

All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well. For there is a Force of love moving through the Universe that holds us fast and will never let us go.
— St. Julian of Norwich (1342-1416)

Schedule a Taster Session to learn more about coaching and how you could benefit. Carla's commitment is to help her clients overcome self-doubt and anxiety and return to confidence and peace in their everyday lives.

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The Dark Seasons of Life

Darkness and decay get a bad rap. I think of all that grows from dark decay, the necessity of it. Whole ecosystems spring from decay. There can be no life without death.

I think of all the times I resisted the dark seasons of my life and how often I struggled against death; death of a person, a dream, a relationship, a belief, an identity. 

I look back over the years and see that something was taking root in that darkness and decay.  Something rich and beautiful. I couldn’t see it at the time. I didn’t know that life was living me. I didn't understand that I had innate wellbeing despite the difficult, dark times.

Because I couldn’t feel it, I thought it didn’t exist. Could it be more accurate to say that I didn’t believe it so I couldn’t feel it? I think so.

Now I know whether or not I feel my innate wellbeing, it is always there. This understanding alone helps during times of difficulty. I can trust the darkness and decay to support life.  I know now that I don’t have to resist it. I don’t have to struggle against it. Life always springs forth again.  Always.

If you going through a difficult and dark time, go ahead and cry. Grieve. It will do a cleansing work in you. You can be assured that the storm clouds will pass. You can be certain that the light will return. Life supports you. Always.

 “All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well.”  Julian of Norwich

I welcome your questions or comments.


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Contact Carla to learn more about coaching and how you could benefit. Carla's total commitment is to help her clients wake up and live the life they've been dreaming of. 

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