I recently came across this question in a Steve Chandler book and it rocked me. “What’s missing from your life and how do you keep it out?” It rocked me because I see how effortlessly I can focus on what’s missing and give little attention to how I keep it out. I can easily fall into the trap of staying in the mire.
The first part of the question without the second part can leave me a victim. The second part opens up the possibility to become a creator. It is empowering. It is opportunity.
Things shift when I focus on the second part of the question. My perspective widens. My wisdom becomes accessible once again. If I sit with the question long enough, I can begin to see a way forward.
When I focus on the first part of the question, I tend to blame everything-out-there for what’s happening to me. I am constantly rearranging the deck chairs or I shut down and do nothing because what’s the point.
When I ask myself how I keep out what I most want, gently and with compassion, I sit a little taller. I become a tad clearer. I begin to see the truth that I have indeed closed myself. Once realized, I can allow myself to open again. I can take the next step if a step is needed.
Are you lying awake at night worried to death about how you are going to pay your bills? Are you lonely and disconnected from those around you? Are you struggling in your relationship, hoping and praying that your significant other will finally change? Do you have a calling in your life but fear letting go of your "shoulds" or "shouldn'ts" in order to follow it? Ask yourself, with love and compassion, how you may be keeping out what you most want in your life.
Yes, it can certainly be a confronting question. It confronts us and then it heals us. Listen, no one is coming to save you. That realization scared me almost to death, until I realized that I don’t need saving. You don’t need saving either. You and I are already whole. When we forget, we suffer.
John McCain's recent death reminds me of this. He didn’t forget that he was whole when he was a tortured POW. He understood why they beat him; he understood that it wasn’t personal. His body never fully recovered but his essence was intact. Whether or not we agree politically, he lived his life from a place of service despite the torture.
Your essence is intact, too, no matter what is happening out there. The question is, how do you keep out what you most want, no matter your circumstances?
I invite you to sit a while and reflect on this question: What is missing from your life and how do you keep it out? It could transform your life.
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