I tend to cringe a little when I hear the word resolution. The idea of resolutions and habits can remind me of failure and unreasonable expectations. The idea of discipline can remind me of my rigid dad and my fundamentalist background. The idea of structure and systems sounds too confining. These are all stories I’ve made up and these stories do not serve.
But here we are again, that time of year when we begin thinking of resolutions. “Oh my god, I need to lose 15 pounds. I need to increase my business. I need to exercise more. I need to be better at socializing. I need to put stronger habits in place.” The list goes on.
I can feel myself collapse a little under the weight of it all. I don’t feel encouraged and excited. I can feel ashamed and judged. We believe success or failure with resolutions tells us something about ourselves, such as whether or not we are good enough. No wonder we find it difficult to live up to them.
It doesn’t have to be this way. There is a perspective that can be expanding rather than limiting and these questions can be useful as you reflect on the coming year.
Who would you be if you stopped buying into the stories or narratives about what you’re supposed to do or be?
How would you approach this new year if you understood that accomplishments or failures tell you absolutely nothing about who you are? Read that one again.
How would things look different if you knew that you are already whole and that life is a game to play not to conquer or endure?
Take your time with these questions. Reflecting on them can be life changing.
Once you’ve reflected on these questions for a bit, you are ready to look back at the past year and plan for the next year, knowing that accomplishments and failures tell you nothing about who you are (yes, I slipped that in again!).
Are there changes you want to make in the coming year? If so, you could look at the situation objectively, without shame and judgment, without unrealistic expectations, without the painful narrative, and, conversely, without so much hype that you burn out by February.
Looking back, even briefly, can bring much-needed clarity.
What went well? Take time to celebrate!
What understanding, strategies, systems, practices worked?
What didn’t work? No judgment allowed. Stick with the facts.
Next, envision the year ahead.
What do you want to create in your life or business?
What would it look like a year from now if you do create it? Be specific.
What do you need to put in place to be able to create what you envision?
What are you no longer willing to tolerate that gets in your way of creating what you desire
What are the specific next steps needed (doable and even tiny)?
You can hold all this lightly. There is no need to be rigid and demanding but reflection can lead to more clarity. Flexible structure can lead to more expansiveness and freedom. And remembering that the game of life is to be played, not conquered or endured, can lead to more flow and enjoyment.
As you enter into this holiday season, take some time to reflect. You are enough. There is nothing that needs to change to make you better or more acceptable. You are already whole.
And if you want to up your skill in the game of life or create something new, then, by all means, have it. Reflect on where you are now. Envision what you want. Determine your next steps. Put enough structure in place to support you. Watch yourself soar.
Check out this immersive and interactive program that I created For those who want to vision Their Year ahead and be all in for 2020
Would you like to explore a new perspective on resolutions right away? Would you like support in reflecting on the past year and envisioning 2020? I’m opening up two sessions on my calendar this week for the first two people who respond, at no charge to you. Contact Me for a Clarity Call
