I’m still somewhat addicted to my phone. Even though I’ve deleted all social media apps except Substack, I still catch myself reaching for my phone too often. It’s an almost unconscious reflex—my hand moving before realizing what I’m doing.

Other things pull at my attention, too, fragmenting my focus. I often feel a low-level anxiety humming beneath the surface, which isn’t surprising given the state of the world. Scrolling and distraction help me escape it for a moment. But the escape is fleeting.

My attention is no longer my own.

The Fight for Focus: Have You Felt It, Too?

The nagging sense that your focus is being pulled in every direction? That your time and energy are no longer entirely yours?

I’ve told myself I want to write, but days slip by without putting words on page. My attention has been bought and sold a thousand times. It’s time for me to reclaim it, gather the scattered pieces, and protect what’s mine.

The ADHD Brain: A Gift and a Challenge

I’m ADHD. I’ve done the testing. I know how my brain works. There are gifts—like my ability to hyperfocus and accomplish in hours what might take others days. And there are challenges, too: unfinished projects and a mind endlessly fascinated by too many things at once.

Social media is hazardous for a brain like mine, though I suspect it’s dangerous for most. It thrives on overstimulation, pulling me into its endless scroll and numbing me. To counteract this, I’ve learned to create moments of quiet and stillness—sitting on my porch, wandering in the woods, and listening to music. These practices help me regulate my nervous system and reconnect with myself.

*Forest behind my home in western NC 2024*

Learning to Relax: Easier Said Than Done

But it’s not just overstimulation that pulls me away from presence. For years, I’ve noticed how my body tends to stay on high alert, braced for something unexpected, even when there’s no real danger. It’s a pattern I’ve carried with me and one I’ve been slowly unlearning.

Do you know that feeling—when it’s hard to relax, even in the quiet moments?

Here, in the safety of my woods, I’m learning to calm myself. I’m learning to notice when I’m truly safe, to breathe deeply, and to feel at home in my own skin.

Letting Go of Numbing: The Courage to Wake Up

Bit by bit, I’ve been letting go of the distractions and addictions I once relied on to numb or escape. Choosing to live more fully awake hasn’t been easy. Some days, the clarity feels like standing at the center of everything — the beauty, the mess, the ache of the world — and it can be overwhelming. There are moments when I miss the comforting haze of distraction, the way it softened the edges for a fleeting moment.

But the rewards are undeniable. Slowly, I feel my attention coming back to me. I’m beginning to see things as they are, unfiltered and real. Moments feel richer, connections deeper, and my sense of self stronger. I’m learning to hold both the pain and the beauty, and in doing so, I’m discovering what it means to be truly alive.

The Beauty That’s Always Been Here

I’m sitting on my porch after weeks of bitter cold. The sun is warming my skin, the wind brushes gently across my face, and the trees and mountains wrap me in quiet strength. I hear the rustling of leaves, the sharp rhythm of a woodpecker, the chatter of squirrels. My dog, Lucy, crunches an autumn leaf, and the deep gong of my owl windchime—a treasured gift—echoes softly in the breeze.

All this beauty surrounds me. Beauty is always here. But when my attention is elsewhere, I don’t fully experience it.

Do you experience this? Like life is happening all around you, but you’re not fully in it?

Attention Is Power: Here’s Why It Matters

Attention is the most valuable thing we have, yet we give it away easily, which may be why the world feels fractured. What might happen if we reclaimed our attention? Who could we become? How might we show up differently?

Social media connects us and shares information, but it also steals our focus in ways that harm both ourselves and the world. Researchers have found that it’s linked to higher levels of anxiety, depression, and loneliness, driven by comparison, addictive designs, and the constant fear of missing out (FOMO). It fragments our attention, weakens our ability to focus deeply, and disrupts sleep—leaving us depleted and distracted.

It’s not just personal. Social media thrives on sensational content, fueling division and polarization. Consumed by scrolling, we lose sight of the bigger picture and the ways we might help a world that so desperately needs our attention.

The answer isn’t necessarily to give it up entirely but to approach it intentionally. By reclaiming our focus, we not only protect our well-being—we also free ourselves to engage more fully with what truly matters.

Dr. James R. Doty, a neurosurgeon and neuroscientist, puts it perfectly:

“When we lose the power to direct our attention, we can sink into despair and feel we do not have influence over the quality of our lives. If we cannot direct our attention as we choose, it is as if we are giving away the capital we possess to change our circumstances. We are giving away our self-agency.”

Doty doesn’t suggest that we can control everything in life, but he’s right that we can influence it. Attention is agency. And when we reclaim it, we reclaim ourselves.

Reclaiming Attention: A Radical Act of Presence

Reclaiming attention isn’t just about being present. It’s about rediscovering who we are when we’re not pulled in a thousand directions. It’s about creating space for connection, inspiration, and clarity. It’s about living fully in our lives instead of skimming the surface.

The world is heavy right now. The collective stress is palpable, and there is so much we can’t control. But our attention? That’s still ours—if we choose to take it back.

Reclaiming it may feel insignificant at first, but it holds remarkable power. It can change the way we experience life. It can change the way we live. It could change our world.

The sun still warms me, the wind brushes my face, and the mountains stand steadfast around me. I am here. Fully here.

*Mountain view from my home in western NC 2024*

Where Is Your Attention Right Now?

Where is your attention right now? What might your life look like if you took it back?

If this resonates with you, if you feel the pull to reclaim your scattered attention, I invite you to join me on this journey. Subscribe to Edges of Knowing for weekly reflections, practical tools, and stories to help you reclaim your attention, live fully awake, and transform how you experience the world.

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