It’s been an up and down few months. Actually, it’s been a lifetime of ups and downs. That’s the way of it. Why are we ever surprised by this? We hold onto an illusion of control, and when that illusion cracks, we desperately try to seal it, hoping the cracks won’t spread.

When We Can’t Ignore the Cracks

And then something cataclysmic happens—hurricane floods wipe out whole communities in western North Carolina, where I live. Out west, fires rage, topping even our floods. These events are happening regularly around the world. Lives are lost, homes destroyed, and economies leveled. The earth is changing. The cracks in our illusions widen. Anyone paying attention can see this.

I want to look away. I want to ease through these remaining years of my life. But I can’t. I will look. But I will look like I look at you—holding your gaze, looking away, re-engaging. I can’t look without blinking, nor should I. But refusing to look altogether means refusing to connect. And to heal, we must connect.

Even when looking brings despair, we must look. If we allow despair to do its work in us, it can lead to surrender, opening us to new ideas and paradigms. New ideas and paradigms can lead to systemic changes. I’ve seen this happen, but it’s difficult, painful, and messy work.

We need systemic change. Nothing less will do.

What Can We Do When the Cracks Widen?

There is no one right way. We each come with unique gifts, abilities, callings, and passions. We need all of you. We need all of YOU—without the baggage of internalized patterns, systems, judgments, and rigid beliefs. The problems in the world are, in part, reflections of what we’ve internalized and then projected outward. Systems are then made that reinforce what we’ve internalized. It’s a vicious cycle! If we don’t allow those internal patterns to fall away (that which is not us)—or chip them away— we won’t create lasting change in the systems around us. If the systems around us don’t change, we will likely destroy ourselves, even as we are destroying the Earth.

Still, most people will do anything but look deeply into themselves. I get it. If you’re in survival mode, it feels counterintuitive to look inward. You don’t want to sit inside and navel-gaze if the world is burning. And yet, the world is burning because we’ve become disconnected—from ourselves, each other, the earth, and mystery. Connection is the beginning of healing and bringing the flames back into the hearth.

Connection Starts with Facing Ourselves

Listen, I’m as individualistic as anyone I know. It’s a struggle for me to connect—ask my family and friends. I could write paragraphs about why that is, but I’ll spare you. I’m learning that true connection with others is impossible if I can’t first connect deeply with myself without judgment. True connection often starts with someone sitting across from us, holding space without judgment or expectation so that we dare to sit with ourselves. This is how I sit with my clients. Connecting with ourselves—our memories, trauma, grief, fears, and beliefs—is slow, painful, frightening, and messy work. It’s also relieving, surprising, healing, exciting, and hopeful.

Do You Have the Courage to Face the Cracks and Let Them Crumble?

We all know things are not well with the world. Do you have the courage to look inside and see what is not well within you? To sit with yourself without judgment, to love yourself as you are, and to release the beliefs that divide you from you, others, the earth, and mystery? Then, can you take that love and extend it outward to a world in desperate need?

We can’t take on the whole world, but we can care for what’s right around us. This person here, that piece of land there, the local cause around the corner. To heal the world, we must allow for the cracks in our illusions—let them widen until what separates us falls away. Painful? Yes. Frightening? Absolutely. Worth it? You bet.

Letting the Light In

The courage to allow the cracks within ourselves and the world can lead us toward something more profound, meaningful, and whole. Amidst the pain and imperfections, we begin to glimpse the good, the true, and the beautiful. Through these cracks, we find light, hope, and the possibility of transformation—reminders that even in brokenness, beauty can emerge.

“Ring the bells that still can ring,
Forget your perfect offering,
There is a crack in everything,
That’s how the light gets in.”
~Leonard Cohen

Let’s Connect

I’d love to hear your thoughts. How are you facing life’s cracks and finding connection? Feel free to comment. I always appreciate hearing from you. And a “like” would feel so good and help me connect to more folks. I appreciate you!