The Positive or The Negative

I have a question for you: Do you orient your life toward the positive or toward the negative? It may be a question you haven't considered. It may be that the consideration alone could change your perspective.

I ask because I notice how negatively oriented the media is. Bad news, fearful news, sells. We know this yet we still feel compelled to consume it. 

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It's important to be informed, yes, but the constant barrage takes a toll on our well-being and can invalidate the immense goodness and beauty available each day.

When we orient toward the positive, we see it all around us, much like when we learn a new bird or buy a new car then see that bird and car everywhere.

The sun is always there, always, whether or not clouds and storms obscure it for a time. I believe that when we orient toward the positive, the storm clouds move on more easily.

Even in the clouds and storms we can find beauty when we don't look for the negative or gather them so closely to ourselves. 

What do I mean by that? For example, when my dad was in the sunset of his life, dying from cancer, we had the sweetest two years together than all our prior years. Why? For years, I had oriented toward the negative with my dad, desperately wanting him to be different. When he was dying, I oriented toward the positive. I finally let him be. I let the storm clouds of disappointment float away and our relationship changed to acceptance allowing for shared moments of sweetness. He didn't change. My thoughts did.

Here's the thing, innate well-being is our birthright. Just as the bird awakens each morning knowing how to find food or the acorn knows how to grow into an oak, we know everything we need to know to experience well-being and to thrive, even in difficult circumstances.

When we orient towards the negative, believing that the clouds and storms will forever obscure the sun, we lose sight of our innate well-being, to our own inner knowing. 

Do I sound a little too pollyanna? Look at this tree at the ocean's edge. How many storms and hurricanes has it weathered? How has it survived? By simply being a tree just doing what a tree does, rooting deeply and growing. It doesn't worry about the storms. It doesn't become attached to the storms. 

It's the same for us. When we orient toward the negative and get caught up in our stressful and fearful thoughts about how to make it through this or that, we lose sight of the sun of our own well-being where the answers reside.

By quieting our minds, not taking our thoughts so seriously, and orienting toward the positive, we begin to relax, allowing the storm clouds to pass, as they always do. It is then that the insights about how to deal with our difficulties can arise.

Listen, don't take my word for it, test drive it for yourself. Orient yourself towards the positive no matter your circumstances and see what you see. Relax your grasp on the storm clouds of your thoughts and see if they will float on by a little more easily and if the answers you seek will bubble up in you. What do you have to lose? I would love to hear how it is for you.


I am currently taking new clients for the first time in quite awhile. If you'd like to learn more about how your thoughts can obscure you from your own innate well-being and how to return to that place of well-being, please contact me. It would be my pleasure to talk with you. Visit my life coaching page if you'd like to learn how coaching can benefit you, a bit about the coaching process, my credentials, and what other folks are saying about coaching with me.  

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