chemo

Simply Love One Another

July 8, 2011

As you may know, I am reading Letters to a Young Poet by Rainer Maria Rilke and Pathways to God, Living the Bhagavad Gita by Ram Dass.  I intended to share with you some reflections on their words today, but another’s words have taken hold of me and touched my more deeply. I am visiting [...]

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Presence Remains

March 29, 2011

I am thinking of my friend who discovered a brain tumor last week.  Yesterday, she found out that it is cancer and aggressive.  I am sad. Lately, I have been reading Grace and Grit, Spirituality and Healing in the Life and Death of Treya Killam Wilber, by Ken Wilber.  It is the wrenching and beautiful [...]

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This is the Only Moment

March 8, 2011

Two relatives—unbeknown to the other—went in for emergency surgery Saturday night.  My brother and Daddy’s brother.  Both in their early 60s.  Both strong, healthy men—or so we thought.  One with appendicitis and the other with a cancer discovered only 6 days earlier.  Both full of life. One survived and one didn’t. My father’s brother died [...]

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Grief Expressed

November 19, 2010

I am sitting on Daddy’s sofa watching the sunrise in the small field behind his house.  The tall grasses glisten in the golden sun.  I hear faint rumblings of traffic and a train beyond the field.  I can hear Daddy snoring in his bedroom—now a sneeze, and another.  He’s getting out of bed probably to [...]

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Give Sorrow Words

November 5, 2010

“Give sorrow words; the grief that does not speak whispers the o’er-fraught heart, and bids it break.”  William Shakespeare I went to the chiropractor today.  While waiting for the Doctor, I began to meditate—focusing on my breath and letting go of thoughts.  As I breathed into my heart space, I noticed sensations of sadness.  Then [...]

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The Fullness of Forgiveness

September 2, 2010

“Do you have pain anywhere, Mr. Royal,” nurse Walter inquired. “I have a headache,” my dad replied. “What is the pain like?” “Feels like a fullness.  Trying to hold too much.” I sat in the next room listening as Walter attached a new needle to Daddy’s port.  I was waiting for him to finish so [...]

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Morning Agitation

August 23, 2010

I am agitated this morning.  I didn’t sleep well.  I awoke in the middle of the night worried about Daddy.  Is he getting the care that he needs?  I think he is too weak to be alone, but I can’t be there all day, everyday; neither can my sister.  He is just stubborn enough that [...]

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Stand Rapt in Awe

August 20, 2010

“The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the source of all true art and all science. He to whom this emotion is a stranger, who can no longer pause to wonder and stand rapt in awe, is as good as dead: his eyes are closed.” Albert Einstein I’m with Daddy [...]

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Some Days are Diamonds

August 16, 2010

My dad was on the phone with my sweet niece.  She must have asked how he was doing.  I heard him reply, “Some days are diamonds and some days are stone.” At 11:30 that same night, I had to take Daddy to the ER.  As we waited for the doctor, I asked Daddy about that [...]

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The Power of Light

August 3, 2010

Yesterday was full.  The anticipation of Daddy’s doctor’s appointment, going ahead with his chemo despite the risks, spending time with my sister and brother, getting rear-ended by a crazed driver, starting day 8 of a cleanse/detox leaves me feeling a bit like a noodle today.  It was the words of my partner and the antics [...]

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