While living in Vermont, I discovered fresh, organic cream–heavy cream. I shall never again enjoy black coffee, it seems, though I drank it that way for many decades. Now I take my coffee with heavy cream and lots of it. None of this light, skinny stuff.
I suppose my coffee habits speaks to the way I want to live life—give it to me fully! I have struggled long and hard to step into the fullness of life. I have watched my father withhold from life for as long as I’ve known him. I watched my mother make fits and starts towards life, beat down by addiction and illness in the end. Both did the best they could and both gave me all they had to give. And both have been strong and brave in ways I cannot begin to imagine.
But I want the whole, heavy cream of life. I don’t want to settle for a watered down, light version. That version seems to be what this culture offers. The real version requires going against the grain, swimming up stream, bucking the system. This culture is constantly shouting, “This is the way to live your life. This is the way to know God. This is what you must avoid or embrace.”
Poppycock!
Life is deeper and richer than those imperatives. I want to throw off the shackles of black and white rigidity and step into the vast, complex, paradoxical silver world that reflects all colors. Mulberry, indigo, magenta, ivory, fuchsia, teal, crimson, chartreuse, azure, auburn, charcoal, periwinkle, turquoise, violet.
Life comes in many colors and many shades. I can see God in them all—not only in the black and white.
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