“Think enough and you won’t know anything.” Kenneth Patchen
I’m sitting at the bar in Einstein Bros Bagels in Augusta GA drinking a cappuccino breve with an extra shot of espresso. Sounds of air-conditioning, refrigerator, coffee machines, people chattering, and the groove of electronic music overwhelm and dull. I already have a hangover from sleeping in daddy’s guest bed. He has two single beds in the guest room that I would swear are as old as I am. My body does not do well on them. I started in one of the twin beds last night. Two hours later I moved to the other one. A while later I moved to the couch. I didn’t stay there long because I was concerned that I would scare daddy if he awoke during the night and found me; so I moved back to the second little bed. After tossing and turning for a while I got up and found a huge blanket in the linen closet that I folded the length of the bed. I used it to offer extra cushioning for my aching body. That helped and I finally slept. Now I am at the bagel shop for Wi-Fi and the boost of caffeine. My hangover is fading and I’m beginning to be able to think again.
Actually, I think too much. My thoughts are like the running-together noise of this coffee shop or the tossing-turning of an agitated body in an uncomfortable bed. I have to work hard to quiet this crazy-mind, letting it rest and open to something beyond it. It is in that place of openness and stillness that I find deep connection with the world and the divine. It is well worth the effort.
