“Perhaps the most important thing we bring to another person is the silence in us. Not the sort of silence that is filled with unspoken criticism or hard withdrawal. The sort of silence that is a place of refuge, of rest, of acceptance of someone as they are. We are all hungry for this other silence.” (From My Grandfather’s Blessings, by Rachel Naomi Remen, M.D.)
I would like to be a place of refuge for people. I would like to extend that place of connected silence to all. In the silence, time can expand. That’s the kind of silence I shared with daddy the other night. It was healing and full of the divine.
I know the silence of withdrawal well. I awake this morning already in that mode because I didn’t sleep well and I’m irritable. It’s difficult for me to push past the tendency. It will take some soul searching, centering, and intention to overcome it. My morning rituals help. Meditation is a technique that makes it easier for me to come in contact with the pure silence within and extend it out into the world.
Filling moments with words or jokes is another mode I can go into when I feel uncomfortable or out of control. I guess it makes me feel like I’m doing something, maybe giving me the illusion of being in control. Learning to bring my awareness to these moments is vital if I want to extend the silence of refuge and rest.
Some of the most precious moments I have had with others, including the natural world, are those times of deep and full silence. The more often I can contact that place within, the more often I am able to extend it to others. It’s worth the intentional practice it takes to cultivate this other silence.
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