I’m sitting in the oncology treatment room with daddy. He is sleeping beside me as the IV drips. An elegant woman arrived earlier with a beautiful harp. She is playing heavenly, angel-music for us all. Peace floats through the room.
While getting crackers for daddy in the tiny snack room, I found a calendar with photos of people who have survived cancer. I flipped through it and found a quote that resonated with me from Amy Winn, a breast cancer survivor. She said, “People think, I’ll get through this and when I get to the other side I’ll pick my life back up, but there is meaningful life during treatment as well.”
There is meaningful life during treatment, during illness, during difficult times. Often it only takes a few deep breaths to bring me into the fullness of the moment, able to see the life, the good there. Sometimes, it’s a matter of digging through the resistance of the difficult or painful to find the treasure. Many times, it’s a simple matter of giving a little push on the resistance until it releases. Either way, it takes intention, awareness, and desire.
In the end, I find that it takes less energy to do the work of intention and awareness than to stay stuck in the resistance, though there are still times I stay stuck. Even in those stuck moments I can find meaning when I extend curiosity and gentleness towards myself.
Yes, I’ve experienced many meaningful moments during this time of daddy’s illness and treatment, and I believe he would say the same. I treasure these healing moments. Daddy and I are connecting in ways never before possible.
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