“Ultimately, Happiness comes down to choosing between the discomfort of becoming aware of your mental afflictions and the discomfort of being ruled by them.” Yongey Mingyur Rinnphoche
I hit a wall yesterday. Exhausted from our move and the news about my father, I had a mild melt down early in the day. I was quite reactive, impatient, and irritable. Little things were getting under my skin.
At one point, I had an unexpected 20 minutes to myself. I began to reflect on my morning and my suffering. The reflection began as I was feeling very irritated with Buttercup. She was barking and barking as I left for our storage unit. I had to come back to the house because I forgot the keys. Buttercup was still barking. She is having extreme separation anxiety because of her stress from the move. I tried to reason with her that if she just relaxed and rested while I was gone then she would feel better.
I began to realize that I was causing unnecessary suffering for myself, just as Buttercup was. I was taking a difficult situation and adding my reaction to it, which resulted in more suffering. At that point, I took a few minutes to simply bring my awareness to my breath. I brought myself back into the present moment. I found that I began to breathe more easily and my body relaxed. I had to do this repeatedly throughout the day and each time I did, I was able to relax, and my suffering eased.
I have a feeling that I’m going to be coming back to this practice often in the days to follow. I am grateful to have a practice to fall back on during this time. And I am grateful for the support of so many people. Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers.
