All This and More

I just shared with a friend that even though I am looking at some very deep, core and sorrowful issues like my naivite and incapacity to consistently embody unconditional love, I still feel this soulful bliss and joy at the same time because I am accepting and allowing this exploration without judgement. I have never felt both at once and it is the presence of compassion for self, acceptance of whatever is, and confidence in gentle transformation by awareness that seems to be allowing for all of it. I’m happy to read that you are experiencing all of it as well. I’m so sorry you will have to witness a loved one’s suffering.

Study nature, love nature, stay close to nature. It will never fail you. ~ Frank Lloyd Wright
I found this quote in my inbox right after I read your post. I know this says it all, for me, and for you, too. Nature brings myself back to myself when almost nothing else will.
The baby birdies are so precious! Thank you for the picture.
http://www.thewellnesscommunity.org/General-Documents/georgia.aspx

Above is a link to the Wellness Community or Cancer Support Community I was able to find in Georgia.They are in Atlanta. They may have satellite programs closer to wherever you are. I help my friend when she volunteers there here in Bethlehem, PA and does a bi-monthly drum circle for patients, survivors, caregivers and their family members. All programs are free to the above people. There is much helpful care and support for you and your father, too, there. My friend’s family members have experienced much cancer and she was diagnosed near the end of 2009 with breast cancer. Following a partial mastectomy, reduction and reconstruction in February, she finished her fourth chemo (three weeks apart) yesterday. I volunteered when she started her drum circle to help her load and unload drums from the car (of course, I help during the circle, too, we kept the date for one circle near the beginning of her treatment, I did most of the carrying and stuff, Steph felt well enough to be there and use a shaker!).
I volunteered when she began chemo, as I’ve been unemployed and usually available, to share Reiki with her during her treatments, and except for training for the Census Bureau last month, I was there for three of the four treatments, and she found some comfort and calming through the Reiki energy. We got to know the nurses at the outpatient chemo clinic and they got to know us. I also brought a small drum and a rattle or two into the chemo clinic and gently played them from time to time over her 4 hour or so sessions. Nurses and patients alike were intrigued, comforted, distracted, had fun trying my percussion out. These things helped her get through her fear of the procedure, on a spiritual and emotional level. It helped me to feel like there was something I could do. Anyone from a Reiki Level one could share Reiki hands-on during chemo. You could become attuned and do that yourself, for your father, it does not take long to prepare for a Reiki Level 1 attunement, if you so chose. My friend said it helped.
She never stops sharing and talking about her experiences because she knows that people in her family died mostly because “you didn’t talk about it”, like it was a shameful secret. 13 years of event chairing what used to be one of the largest American Cancer Society Relays for Life in this area also taught my friend this.
You are doing a great and helpful act, writing and sharing about your father’s experience and your own. Perhaps there is a Reiki practitioner through the Wellness/Cancer Support Community who may be willing to work in the chemo clinic with your father, if he would like that, or through, if they have one, and they are all over the country, a Community Exchange/Time Bank, or other volunteers. There are many Reiki volunteer practitioners working with one or more of the hospice associations in this area. There may be something like that, that you and your father can tap into. My friend did not experience many of the side effects during chemo, but she did not have to have chemo that often. She really dislikes needles, though, so the Reiki was helpful when they began her IV each time. (She did not have a port as she only went once every three weeks).
She will begin radiation in three weeks, 28 successive treatments, and that will in many ways be more difficult and she may have to go out of work on short-term disability as they have let her know she will likely experience far more fatigue, with the frequency of the treatments being four or five days a week. Her goal is to be completed with treatments before her birthday in August. So far, she is on schedule for that goal, as she did not have to take extra time between chemo treatments, since her blood work stayed good in-between.
As her friend and as one of her caregivers, I just know that all we’ve done is taken it one thing at at time, and asked for prayers from others, and there’s been an outpouring of support from friends and new friends and strangers, alike. She is also cancer-free as of her surgery in February, and mostly working full-time. She does take Family Leave time the day after each chemo, now. She is a whiz at fund-raising, and thought of having anyone who wanted to donate to be allowed to draw on her bald head with water-based, non-toxic markers at the First Wednesday Drum circle last month, and the drum circle facilitator’s organization and a local Realty company offered to match funds that were raised. In all, during a one hour and 15 minute drum circle, Steph raised $600 by the time matching funds were added, for Look Good Feel Better, a program done by the American Cancer Society. And we had fun and awareness was brought into the limelight, as it was posted on FB, too, with all the pictures. Steph says she is fortunate to not be as sick as some folks in treatment, so she wanted to do something else to help. She started that evening playing the djun djuns, the large drums used by traditional African drum circles to keep time for the other players. Our circles aren’t strictly African traditional but the djuns are a big help keeping things rolling well. Steph was up there playing away, turban off, bald head shining as she played. Then another player kept the djuns going as she moved around the room with her basket of markers. One woman we all know and love and who is at the circles and our friend’s band’s performances all the time, and who is a music instructor and a really fun lady, removed what I now know to be a wig and shared her mostly bald head with the whole room, then she wrote on Stephanie’s head. She had not shared that before, I am sure few in the room knew about her treatment status before. There were many moving moments that night but that one struck me to the core. Stephanie’s willingness to share what was happening with her made another person feel safe enough and empowered enough to also share that with us all.
Do I imply that cancer or treatment is “fun”? No. I am just saying that we have found it in ourselves to rise above the deadly nature of the disease in spite of fear, pain, sorrow and fatigue and some amazing times have occurred. I have met so many being the very best of themselves, giving the very best they have, and been reassured that the nature of humanity is, in so many many ways and at so many times, generous and filled with love, enough and to spare and to share.
Bless you and your father as he begins his treatment. I just wanted to share some things that seemed to be of help to Steph as she is going through preventative treatments and her recovery from surgery. These things have helped me, too. Love and prayers and healing to you and all your family. You give so much, you will receive even more than you’ve seen. Every one gets through this the best way that they can, one moment at a time. Stephanie’s cancer was caught in a very early stage, I don’t compare her experience to anyone’s. She’s learned to receive and accept support after giving it to everyone else for so many years. That tradition of giving has helped her and her willingness to receive has helped those around her as well as herself. It’s been quite a journey and one I’ve been honored to be along on. And it ain’t over yet.