I found out yesterday afternoon that my Dad has terminal lung cancer. The news kind of sucks the wind out of me. I feel like I just found my dad…now I’m going to lose him. I never thought I’d have a close relationship with him, but in the last year all that has changed. We have developed a sweet heart connection in one short year, a connection I now treasure and enjoy. I’m not ready to give that up after waiting almost 50 years to have it. Nevertheless, in the midst of it all, in the midst of the deep sadness, I feel incredible gratitude. I feel so deeply and utterly loved and supported by the Divine.
After I heard the news about my dad I sat outside for a while. A Vulture soared in close, as close as one has ever come. It soared around me three times. I felt as if the Divine was showing me how closely connected and loved I am. I feel the love and support to my very core. Gratitude wells in me and overflows.
It is quite an interesting feeling, this raw sadness coupled with such deep gratitude and love. I think of Julian of Norwich, one of the great English mystics, and her famous words: “All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well.” This has been one of my favorite quotes for many years. I loved it long before I understood it. I believed it long before I felt it. Today I feel it in my bones, as I have for some time now.
Daddy and I will make the most of whatever precious time we have left. That is such a gift, a gift I will always treasure.
I am so very blessed.
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