Insane Brain

This is what my brain looked like at 2am last night. We are less than 2 weeks away from our move, and believe me, my brain is already moving. For 2 hours my brain paced like a nervous race horse ready to break loose for the track–thinking of every possible scenario, good and bad, that could happen between now and move day.

Silly things really. How am I going to safely transport the beautiful acrylic painting that my artist friend Karyn Meyer-Berthel gave to me as a parting gift? Are the dogs going to suffer too much with all the stress? What if our moving truck is too big, or too small? How will I get through this move if I’m unable to sleep at night? On and on it paced.

At several points I knew it would be a good idea to get up to meditate, but I simply wouldn’t leave the warm bed. I know that meditation calms my mind. I’m sure it would’ve helped, but I stayed in bed anyway…miserable. I call this “insane brain”. Why is it that we often choose to stay in a stuck place when we know of an action to take that could be helpful?

I invite you, Dear Readers, to give some thought to this question and leave a comment below.

Tagged as: acrylic painting, brain, Meditation, meditation calms, sleep, stress

http://scintillatingspeck.wordpress.com Jen
You and me both, Carla! I’ve definitely got an antsy horse of a brain lately too, with a LOT of missed sleep. And yes, I have Insane Brain because I know there are a few things I should do that I don’t do, like turn off the computer, ask for way more help than I’m getting, etc. I still can’t figure out why it’s so hard to just do the things that would help me most.
Patricia Dee
Good question, Carla. I often wonder which part of me says “nope” to those actions that I believe will be helpful and growthful for me. And I’m still not quite sure if sometimes what appears to be “negative” isn’t actually a graceful way for us to work out our fears (like a racing worry brain while lying safely in bed). Is it always growthful to meditate away our fears or is it best sometimes to watch them and know what is lurking in our subconscious so we can accept and soothe ourselves. Since I don’t always know, on those “good” and conscious days, I CHOOSE to believe that all of it is part of my evolution and it is my own design – perfectly paced and staged to get me where I’m going, whether I enjoy every part of it or not. I don’t like the alternative beliefs – they don’t serve me in any way!
Carla
Jen, I can imagine that you do have an antsy brain these days as you prepare to go to Italy! I hope you have a wonderful trip.
Patricia, I agree that we often label something negative that may be just right. For me, meditation is not about moving away from something so much as it as about observing what is. As I lay in bed last night, I was attempting to move away from the discomfort of the thoughts and feelings. Had I gotten up and meditated, I would have simply observed those thoughts and feelings, letting them rise and fall as they would. But I agree that we are on our path–”perfectly paced and staged to get me where I’m going”.
Thank you both for your presence here. Means so much to me!
http://www.marciescudderphotography.com Marcie
Scarey how we can let our thoughts run away with themselves. And – with so much on your plate..how can you possibly help it. Breathe. Long…slow..deep. It works for me.
Carla
Thank you, Marcie. Yes, I noticed today that my breathing is quite shallow. I definitely need to be more aware of my breathing at this time!

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