I have several friends who are in a dark/decay season of their lives. Somehow I want to honor the beauty of those places. I want to support my friends to find the richness in those places. I want to encourage them to stay, just as I am encouraging myself to stay during those times. By stay, I mean allow it to be, relax into it, maybe even welcome it. Rumi advises:
This being human is a guest house. Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness, some momentary awareness comes as an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all! Even if they’re a crowd of sorrows, who violently sweep your house empty of its furniture, still, treat each guest honorably. He may be clearing you out for some new delight.
The dark thought, the shame, the malice, meet them at the door laughing, and invite them in.
Be grateful for whoever comes, because each has been sent as a guide from beyond.*
In no way do I want to minimize or trivialize how difficult the dark seasons can be, and I want to encourage all of us to open to the possibility of richness in those times. How different would our experience of darkness and decay be if we could learn to welcome them instead of resist them? I know that I have caused myself, and those around me, much suffering by resisting and struggling against the darkness. The darkness and decay will come–no matter what we do, no matter how much we struggle against them. So what if we opened to the possibility of welcoming them, to the possibility that some new delight may be awaiting us?
I’d love to hear from you about how it’s been when you’ve struggled against the darkness versus relaxing into it.
*The Essential Rumi, Translations by Coleman Banks.
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